Marriage is a subject present in every girl’s life since her birth. From When she starts to learn to cook to be “wifey material” to her relatives wishing she’s find the right guy and see her in her wedding dress. But do we ever see a young boy being told “can’t wait to see your wedding day”? I personally don’t think that happens and if it does it’s much less common than girls.
When I was young one of the most beautiful and vivid memories in my childhood is when my sister and I used to sleepover at our grandma’s. One of the games she played with us was called bride and groom, were basically one of us wore a lovely satin pink veil as the bride and the other was the groom, this obviously always ended in a fight over who gets to be the bride. Anyway, the problem is that we were children, playing-discussing-imagining-preparing our wedding since we were brought into this world… Five years old girls are being taught to anticipate getting married and we’re seriously wondering why divorce rates are so high.
We all know that girl who has a screenshot on her phone of the wedding dress she wants (And I am not shaming her at all it’s just a point to prove how differently genders perceive marriage). On the other hand we rarely see a guy fantasizing about his suit or thinking whether he wants an outdoor or indoor ceremony. We’re programming girls that they HAVE to get married and this is their purpose, sought after achievement, and mission on earth, although we never do that to boys. This is the same problem a concept like accepting boys to have relationships outside marriage and girls not… If we as a society are so fond of marriage we should be using our indoctrination methods on all people, not just girls who are perceived as trying to “trap” guys into a marriage.
Also why do we tell girls that their wedding is the best day of their lives? Why can’t they choose the damn most important day of their lives? It could be their graduations; 21st birthday party were they ended up getting drunk as hell! Do ladies who don’t get married miss the most important day of their lives or are we too busy making stupid generalizations to consider that?
Our priorities while raising girls are fucked up. So please girls make your goal something you ALONE can accomplish, not something based on someone else’s presence in your life, or what society expects you to do or be. And of course marriage is cool and nice and it’s okay to want it but it’s definitely not okay to program our girls and ourselves that it’s what we were born to do, because it most definitely isn’t.