Things Left Unsaid || Parents and Teens

By: Hadeel Hatem

All of us have secrets that they’ve kept to themselves, whether they are aware of them or not, but the “secrets” I’m about to list shouldn’t be caged inside you. These feelings and thoughts should be freed and allowed to roam in your mind; they should be accepted. The feeling of not being able to express how you feel is agonizing, especially when you’re explaining it to someone who swore to love and cherish you from the beginning, but now all they do is just refuse to acknowledge your emotions and thoughts. Parents are the reason we are alive and here on this earth, but I can’t guarantee they have always understood or acknowledged what we’re saying, especially when it comes to the things I’m about to provide you with.

 

  • Religious beliefs

God forbid you have different religious beliefs/views than your parents! Just the thought sends shivers down your mother’s spine and anger coursing through your father’s mind. How a small differ can lead to a full blown argument, which usually ends in a simple yet anger and disgust-filled “Estagfurullah,” is astonishing. Whether you differ or agree with your religion or another’s religion, your opinion and thoughts should be respected even if the other person doesn’t agree (except if there is hard evidence that you’re wrong or you’re using religion as a way to teach hate).

 

  • Identity

Whether if it’s about your sexuality, gender, preference, likes, or dislikes you should be loved and accepted, as they are your parents who swore to not only protect you, but also to love you when you took your first intake of air. It has become a normal thing for you to sit on your bed closing your eyes in anguish as the tears threaten to slip. The two questions stuck in your mind are why and how. Why has it become a normal thing for me to stifle my cries in fear of them hearing me? How did we become like this?

 

  • Personal life

Most of us hide the fact that we’re dating someone from our parents. Why? Because we fear their disapproval and disappointment because their disapproval is more important than our happiness. We preach about self love and care, yet deny ourselves of the love we deserve and the heartbreak we’ll experience because we want to appear perfect in their eyes and we want to avoid punishment.

 

  • Discipline

We always fear discipline. Parents should be more open to giving us advice and letting us vent freely. They should also explain why we are wrong and why we should be punished. However, our mistakes lead to anger and frustration and instead of receiving explanation and advice, we end up getting scolded, which eventually leads for us to fear discipline and our parents. Our questioning and curiosity about their actions only ends up hurting us since they usually refrain from answering, and even point out that the question was impolite or irrelevant. How are we supposed to unleash our creativity and our best self if we get scolded and punished for everything we do?
Parents are flawed; they’re human after all. Teens aren’t the only ones with struggles. Parents struggle to make money to keep you in the best schools whether they can or can’t afford it. You’ve got to know that they care and sometimes just talking to them about your struggles will wake them up and make them realize how much these things they do affect you. But there’s a thin line between discipline and abuse. You’re the only one that defines that line. Also abuse is different to every person, so your friends don’t have the right to decide if its abuse or not. Also, don’t exaggerate- your mom grounding you because you flunked a test isn’t the end of the world nor is it abuse.

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