Truth is, feminism is believed and stereotyped as inherently anti-heterosexual
relationships for one reason, which is that their toxicity and the abuse within them is so normalized and accepted. So when feminists point that out, they are perceived as anti-romance and men haters. Just like when people claim that feminism wrecks marriages;
Although it does wreck marriages, it only wrecks the ones that are abusive and based on the oppression of women. So yeah they’re gladly wrecked. Anyways here’s how feminism is not against relationships and why it’s thought to be so.
Feminists hate relationships that represent patriarchy in our society. Where the guy is in control and the woman is obedient and silent. So if that’s the mainstream relationship, yes we hate relationships. If marriages are filled with domestic abuse and marital rape, yes we hate marriage. If love is a mean for control, yes we’re not its biggest fans.
We are standing against society’s FALSE ideas on love, marriage, and relationships. Not the healthy, supportive, equal ones based on choice.
A very famous example of what I’m going to call ‘accepted toxicity of relationships’ often
hated on by feminists is sleeping beauty. Whenever we bring up how fairytales generally promote problematic themes the only response is, ugh these feminists with their meticulousness and hate for love. While we are only pointing out that a sexual act (the kiss here) without consent is not okay and is actually harassment. So young girls gushing about how cute and romantic that kiss is are taught that them being harassed is fine and are actually being blinded to what harassment is in its simplest forms.
To top it off another example is the stigma surrounding relationships, even in feminist communities. Because they often revolve around dependence which again should not be the norm; a feminist might actually be like I’m not going to be in an intimate relationship because “I don’t need a man”, while relationships are not about need. That’s why we have this glorified image of the woman who is single and a boss lady basically, yes she is a feminist icon but does that mean the one who’s “taken” – excuse my not so woke word – is lesser of a feminist?
If anything, I believe feminism actually advocates for love and unity. This is a place where race and gender or anything else does not matter, and the only focus is on choice, whether it is a relationship, a job, celibacy, sexual activity, kids, no kids, etc.