Him & Her – Leaving

By: Hanna Haitham

i see her standing there
i wonder, does she think about it all?
does she still remembers all the things we used to do that still plague my thoughts at night?
i miss her
but i can’t talk to her.
not when i worry i’ll be faced with rejection. rejection that i don’t know if i’ll survive.
i want her
but how can i go get her?
when my feet are planted with the paralyzing fear of realizing that she’s no longer mine to want.

he’s here
i miss him
i can see something in his eyes when they meet mine
but what is that
is it love? hatred? anger?
i hope it’s the first because i can’t hold out much longer.
everything comes rushing back
all the promises we made when we were too high on our lust for life
the stolen words that i thought would amount to something more
i want him
but i fear that when i go there
i’ll confirm my worst fear
that he isn’t mine to want

i can’t do this anymore i’m leaving

he’s leaving, i guess that’s my sign

is that hurt etched on her face?

can he see the tears i’m bottling up?

i’m going to tell her, but not now

he’s leaving

i don’t want to leave

why won’t he talk to me

i want to hold her

he looks happy, i should give him that
i want the best for him
which is obviously not me

she looks happy, i should give her that
i want the best for her
which is obviously not me

when i silently say goodbye to the piece i’ve lost my other pieces come undone

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