By: Hagar Ibrahim
Since eid was just around the corner, I’ve been observing how sexist our traditional families can get. Ramadan has recently ended and we all know that the end of ramadan comes with the end of ramadan nights, meaning no post 12 AM outings, no 3 am returns, no spontaneous sleepover at your bestie’s and definitely no spending unnecessary time at your male friends’ house. Not to be completely pessimistic about the end of ramadan, eid comes with its pros: CASH, kahk and petit four also known as betyfor, not having to hide while having your morning coffee in public because boys and men are unable to comprehend the fact that you can’t control your uterus, utterly fashionable eid clothes and most importantly, pajamas and salat eid even if you don’t actually pray on regular days (same). And while eid is one of the most sensational times of the year, it comes with its sexist drawbacks and unjust comments. Here is what I, Hagar Ibrahim, a very controversial 18 year old has faced during halal christmas:
1. No more “seya3a” because you have a vajayjay:
Having 8 male cousins and 0 female cousins means that you’ll face this a lot. It was added to my knowledge today that I won’t be permitted to stay outside after 11 PM (at night,duhh) and my male cousin who is the same age as me did not get any remarks regarding his curfew. Sad, right?
2. Go help your aunt who is fully capable of throwing a plastic cup in the bin by herself:
I am a very polite child, I promise. I just find it extremely useless when I am sitting down being cute and my mom commands me to go help because you just can’t chill because simply you don’t have a penis. Bare in mind that my fully capable 18 year old male cousin is literally sitting on the sofa next to me.
3. The aftermath of helping your aunt who is capable of throwing a plastic cup in the bin by herself:
I came to the conclusion that being good in the kitchen gives you a bonus point as a person, and not specifically as a wife. What is worse than having to be good in the kitchen, is the comments your relatives give. People expect us girls with ruby red nail polish to be unable to do simple tasks such as making a cup of tea or serving some kahk because obviously all we care about is our cuticles. The “you are now ready to marry my son” comment is an old one tante Iman, come on.
4. Go play:
Being Egyptians, we like our families as big as our plates and egos. An average grandma has about 10-15 grandchildren, if not more, this means that there is a variety of age groups and this sounds so cool till your forced to sit with Malik who’s snot is almost in your plate and keeps asking if you have games on your phone.
5. Zip it:
Sometimes, you’re forced to tolerate stupid ignorant airheads just because you are blood-related. Again, I would like to highlight that I am a polite child and a very nice person but it just gets on my nerves when my uncle assumes that I am majoring in art just because I am a girl.
6. Zero tolerance policy:
Being involved in topics such as politics/religion/philosophy is a big no no. Being a girl involved in said topics will probably give your family a lifetime supply of seizures. Guess what, your girl is an MUN master. Sadly, my family is very naive when it comes to politics and they vote for the “good” guys. What’s even more sad is that I can’t shut up. A lot of fights explode because of how politically naive some people are.
7. Back to basics:
Marriage arrangements on top of marriage arrangements on top of marriage arrangements. Forcefully making you think of forming a family with your cousin who you might be best friends with or you might completely despise. Making slightly sexual comments about the way you’re fully developed now so we should set you off. Highlighting the fact that higher education for you is not a must because you’re so beautiful. And let’s not forget the dropped hints about hijab. Not to mention that if you have baby cousins and you show 0.000001% of love to them you’re obligated to give birth to one like him on the spot. I feel you girl. I love my family, I promise I do. It’s just that I really want to give them a piece of mind and want a piece of theirs, maybe we can work it out in the future.