Never Let Abusive Relationships Define You

By: Sohaila El Nahas

“This is a story of someone anonymous which has a powerful message.”

Some people are good at hiding things. They do this to protect the people they love or to protect the person they thought they loved. And in doing that, there comes a price.

She was one of those people, and keeping that secret destroyed her mentally, emotionally and physically. If you’re confused, I guess I should start from the beginning and tell you what she hid for so long.

She met this guy. Let’s say his name is X. X and her were friends at first. Then he asked her on a date, and they saw a movie together. They instantly clicked. They started dating, and she fell hard for him.

He was her best friend, and she adored him. After a while, her grandmother’s cancer came back, and she was devastated. X was there for her, and she was so grateful for that. But after she passed away, he changed.

After her grandmother’s memorial was the first time she saw X get angry. They headed back to her place, and when they got to her room, she was still upset. And he got annoyed with her and slammed her against the wall. She hit her head pretty hard.

She apologized to X. She was afraid of him, but that was only the beginning. When he came over he would grab her and leave bruises. He would yell at her, breaking her spirit more and more.

X would be angry whenever she would focus on school or hang with her guy friends. He’d threaten to harm himself. She would always drop everything to make sure that he was okay. She would end up coming back with bruises and scars.

This continued to happen over the four months they dated, and she kept her mouth shut. She was afraid and depressed. She felt so alone.

She changed a lot. Her grades began to slip, and she had trouble getting out of bed. Worst of all, she began to fear the people she loved – her friends and family. She didn’t want to leave X because he would hurt himself and because she loved him. She began to believe that she deserved this, even though she never did.

She was drowning inside, and she didn’t think things would ever get better. But one day, after not seeing him for a while, she came back with cuts on her face from X.

That was the moment that she finally broke down and told someone. Her friends finally knew, and they convinced her to leave him. It was the scariest thing in the world. When she left him, she didn’t know what to feel. She honestly felt empty. She told her family, and they were shocked and devastated. But she felt nothing.

They say time heals all wounds and scars, and it has taken some time for her to heal. The day after she left him, she still felt empty and afraid. There would be moments when she would have random flashbacks of events that happened to her, and she would just break.

She began to believe that nothing would get better, but eventually, things began to look up. She started to see a therapist which helped a little bit. But part of her wanted to start fresh and leave this dark part of her story behind. So she did.

And here she is two months later. She’s still here, processing and putting herself back together. She’s becoming a much happier person. Yes, she still has nightmares and flashbacks of the events that have occurred, but it’s slowly getting better.

And she doesn’t want to be silent about this part of her story anymore.

Yes, she was abused. And she’s slowly putting herself back together. But she won’t let it define her anymore.

She will be okay. And to anyone who is reading this and has been or is in an abusive relationship: You will be okay too. She has found peace in this dark part of her story, and so will you. Things do get easier.

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