By: Aicha Korachy
Talateen youm soum w talateen youm lammah… w fel lammah deh, betshoof kol anwa3 alsa2emeen w gamee3 anwa3 el bany admeen. This is a judge free-zone, but that doesn’t mean we can’t poke a little fun at the different types of people we wall meet during Ramadan (we love all of you with all your kicks and ticks):
Dah beykoon shakhseyya persevering awy… beylef 3ala el beit kolo yesa7y w yenady w fawa2… mo3zam el wa2t dah beykoon mama, aw akhook el soghayar el beysoom nos youm bs 3amel feeha taky w beyeb2a lessa feh 7amaset “yalla nesoom kol youm…” Don’t laugh too hard, that was you once. This person enjoy an amount of energy 3al sohour 3’eir tabe3eyya w aham haga fe, en sotto momayaz… your very own Ramadan Alarm.
2. “Allahom Eny Sa2em”:
El-shakhseyya deh ba2a beteb2a sahya mesh tay2a hayatha. Sahetoony leh aslun? Shoghl ehh w maraset ehh? Ana kan zamany nayem delwa2ty. W law oltelo Sabah El-Kheir hay2olak “Allahom Eny Sa2em.” Tab ya haj ebtasem… tala3 fy wagh akheek sadaka? La2. Deh el shakhseyya el you want to avoid during Ramadan. Fasting makes them angry and to them everyone around them is a test from God to keep his temper and not swear at your pathetic existence. Bs matfakarsh fe others that fit this category abl ma te-admit en it’s sometimes you.
3. Howa El-Maghrab Odamo Ad Ehh?
We’re all hungry. We’re all thirsty. And we all calculate the number of second before Maghreb. This person is like Donkey in Shrek, but instead of the constant “Are we there yet?” it is the constant “Odamna ad ehh w nakol?” This person is in all of us, no exceptions. But while we might think it, this person voice it out loud to everyone.
Dah 7adretak beykoon nayem tool el youm w sahy tool el leil. Aleb youmo ka2no suffering from a bad case of jet lag… only the only jet lag they’re suffering is moving from Foodaholics land to No-Food-For-Your-Sorry-Butt-Until-16-Hours-Later Land.
5. The Vacuum Cleaner:
Maknaset mama el Panasonic. Beykhalas el fetar yetla3 3ala el talga w yefresh fel matbakh. Bo2o mabyet2efelsh men adan el maghreb le adan el fajr. W ghaleban beykoon howa motakames shakhseyeten, The Vacuum Cleaner w El-Amrecany… Because how can one survive without food and moving jaws for 16-hours?
6. Scoop with Sayem:
Mo3zam el wa2t beykoon shakhs mokhtafy w taht 3eneih eswid… Dah beykoon mashy be mawa3eed el mosalsalat ka his screensaver 3ala el telephone. 3ayez te3raf ayy ma3loomat 3an ayy mosalsal aw ayy dor momasel… hit him up. He’s the perfect moving TV guide. Bey2oom men odam el telephision lamma mama tenba7 sotha we tendaho; lel marra el million.
7. The Invisible:
Esmo howa 3enwano. This person disappears during Ramadan. Legend says that it is because he devotes all his time to actually properly appreciating this Holy month of seyam, but no one knows for sure. The only signs of his existence are the glimpses of him slipping in and out of the mosque at night. We should all aim to be that devoted, but not all of us can go MIA for 30 days, which is absolutely okay, but The Invisible… he can’t live through those days surrounded by the busy, noisy society we live in.
8. El-Wad El-Mo2men:
As mentioned before, this is a judge-free zone, but we all have that one friend el mo2men tool shahr Ramdan; sallah w som w quran… w awel ma sallat el 3eed tekhlas… khamron w nesaa2! (not to be taken literally of course)
9. The Butterfly:
Shakhseyya cute gedan. Fasting or not The Butterfly wakes up nice and early and goes on with her day as if she’s on steroids. So what you’re not gobbling down food or water for 16-hours? In Iceland their sunset is 21-hours from Fajr! The Butterfly flutters around Ramadan like nothing can stop her from achieving greatness, not even thirst or hunger pinches in the pit of their stomach.