I Wasn’t Enough

By: Hanna Haitham

these chains bite into my skin
as i look around and see her
her body walking away
i try to break free but i can’t
these chains made of my broken promises
they won’t budge
self restraint is a powerful thing
but i always knew how to control it
but it seems like my body subconsciously knew
it knew she deserved better
that’s why i’m stuck in place
it knew that these hands weren’t made to hold someone up in their time of need
it knew that these shoulders won’t be there for her to cry on
no matter how badly i want them to
it knew that this mouth won’t be able to tell her all the things she should hear
it can’t comfort her
it knew that these eyes won’t acknowledge the emotion that they see etched on her face
it knew that these ears would deny the words i love you as they tumble from her lips
it knew that these legs can’t leave even though they know they should
it knew that these arms won’t let her go
even though this brain knows she deserves better
so i snuck out, i left her in the most cowardly way possible
because i knew if i saw her i couldn’t do it
but she deserves more
she used to tell me it’s not about deserving
and that just makes me know i can’t stay even more
my heart just won’t understand it
because it’s the only part of my body that stands it’s ground
now i’m left here looking at her retreating body
as the memories of our past frame her
it feels like with every step she takes she steps on me
on what we had
what i gave up
is love ever enough?
i’ll never know because i just wasn’t enough.

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