How many people do you know smoke up? Do your parents think the group of friends you have are bad news? Mine did, actually mine do. It was one of the hardest things to do; to keep my friends secret from my family because they’re known for what, smoking, drinking, whatever it was, I was afraid my family would find out. Their beliefs didn’t match what my friends did. At first, we were just friends, I didn’t join in. But eventually I did. And it was everything my parents were scared of, and that’s why I didn’t have a relationship with my family. I got sad, and the sadder I got the more I smoked, went out and did things I would’ve never imagined doing. Things my parents would have been ashamed of if they found out.
I lost friends, because of my reputation, I lost my family, and I was losing myself. And I hated my friends for getting me into this life, but it wasn’t their fault, it was mine. I stopped having faith, faith in people, faith in myself. I cut everyone off, I tried getting into religion. It didn’t work, I was still sad, I still smoked behind everyone’s backs. I was alone. And in that moment I even lost faith in God. I never could believe how he could let me screw up, although it was my fault and only my fault. I lost faith in people. I believed everyone around me cannot change, because I wasn’t able to, I didn’t have any self control, and my depression took its toll on me. I believed everyone to be evil, and stayed away from everyone that smokes or does anything that could be perceived as wrong because I believed they can corrupt the strongest of people, and I was the weakest.
Losing faith, was one of the worst things I could have ever done. Losing faith in people and in myself. Then things changed, I get back together as friends with someone that drinks and gets high almost all the time. But this time, he helped me be a better person, although he did things I believe are wrong, he helped me grow, he helped me get over my insecurities, and he keeps knocking them back down every time they appear again. He helps me get closer to my own religious beliefs even though he might not agree with all of them. And that’s when I realized how wrong I was. This is a note to EVERYONE:
Don’t reinforce what everyone else thinks, reputations aren’t always the whole truth and they can ruin a person. People do bad things, every single person in this world has done something wrong. We’re human for God’s sake, we sin. Some sins are greater than others yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re all human, and we should have hope, we should have faith in each other. We should have hope that the lost souls we care deeply for find their way. But you can’t do that if it costs you your own growth. Be friends with people that help you grow, but if for a second they are hindering your own growth cut them loose. Because your own growth is important, but still have hope that they will find their way. I have faith, I still have hope that they prosper, that they grow. Because if people can’t grow, then this isn’t a world I want to live in. Then this isn’t a world anyone should live in.