When thinking about rape we often imagine it’s from a stranger and with the threat of violence or even were the victim can’t stop what’s happening. And while that idea is totally valid, it ignores and leaves out many victims with valid stories too, like victims of marital rape. Marital rape by definition is “the act of sexual intercourse with a spouse without the spouse’s consent”. I know right now many people will have the question of why would she/he say no? They’re married… So let me break it to you.
1- Marriage Does Not Grant Consent
“Anytime I want”. No. Doesn’t work like that. I personally think that misconception comes from people objectifying women and treating them as property. Like honey u can buy a coffee machine to have coffee “anytime you want”, but no you don’t marry someone to kiss them or have sex with them anytime you want. Saying I do or signing a piece of paper isn’t equal a waiver to a woman’s right to say no.
2- Giving in Under Pressure is Rape
“She gives in rather than have yet another fight about it.” So that’s a snippet from an anonymous women’s story online. And you might think that she DID in fact give consent she said yes right??? Wrong. Because she was pressured to do so, so this counts as rape. Just like a woman who agrees afraid of her husband getting violent.
3- Is This Really a Serious Issue?
Well the answer is yes, statistics say so and even laws say so. In 1993 Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights announced Marital Rape as a human right violation hence a crime, under the declaration of elimination of violence against women. Obviously not all members of the UN abide by that, like Egypt keda our lovely country, of course due to the religious debate. Statistics on the other hand, show that in 2014 30% of adult rape cases were marital rape, and I personally think this number is much higher than that given that not all women come forward and not all women even understand that what’s happening to them is rape.
4- Rape is Rape
Is it less of a crime when a guy rapes his wife than when he rapes a stranger? No. However it is more normalized and accepted in society and that’s why women are forced to basically “suck it up”. That is when their feelings of violation and resentment are even acknowledged.
5- Marital Rape Exists In Islam
“Three things fall under unkindness and one of them is when the man engages in sexual act with his wife without sending a messenger: humor and kisses. No one should directly fall on his wife like one buffalo does to another”. This hadith was narrated by Anas ibn Malik. Source: http://www.dar-alifta.org/Foreign/ViewFatwa.aspx?ID=6033. Yes sex is a “duty” of women in Islam, but that does not mean that a man raping his wife is halal. I never use religion to argue my point at all as that it shouldn’t be our only drive to be decent human beings but marital rape as a subject is often associated with false stereotypes like it being halal, so I did my research and before you tell me what do you know about religion do your research too, at the end we should understand our own religion… Shocking right? We’re used to someone telling us what to do.