We’ve been told since kindergarten as girls that whenever a boy is what we call ‘gheles’ he actually has a crush on us… And for some bizarre reason his ‘ghalasa’ is a way of expressing that supposed crush. That lie caused 4 consequences which are in my opinion MAJOR on so many levels.
1- It made guys who are not actually ‘ghelseen’ to start acting accordingly, because that’s what girls were told to think anyways right? If he’s being a decent NORMAL human being he’s ‘tary’ and ‘madloo2’. So what he does as a result? Act like an asshole.
2- It lead girls to basically suck it up. If her boyfriend/crush is being mean the reaction is ‘it’s okay he probably is doing that because he likes me’ or ‘he’s jealous and angry because he likes me’ etc. And it turns from a relationship that should be about care, love, support to possessiveness and rudeness.
3- This one is a disaster for me, girls could actually start jumping to conclusions that a guy loves them when he actually is an asshole, just an asshole not trying to express his love or anything. And that is one way of how females have been suffering and will continue to suffer of ‘broken hearts’ if we don’t challenge stereotypes like these. A guy is sometimes so obviously not interested at all and the girl on the other hand already named their first child.
4. Girls start actually thinking the guy being mean is the norm! When he’s just being himself it being nice the think something’s off… The assholenees is associated with love or interest is actually turnt into a fucking demand!!! I’m not saying they tell their boyfriends to be mean of course but it’s more of wanting the guy to be ‘chill’ and ‘te2eel’ and ‘busy’.
Of course some might be this second thinking females aren’t the only ones suffering in relationships and the inevitable pain associated with them and that is a 100% true thought. Males too suffer from that twisted mindset. They’re forced to be ‘to2al’ and ‘gamdeen’ and forced to suppress emotions and to ‘yensfaho shwaya’ all the time.
Guys aren’t allowed to be romantic as much as girls and are shamed for believing in the fairy tale ending many people desire unlike girls. However the fact that there is pressure on them to be assholes does not deny them responsibility for said assholeness.
Society acts as pressure for so many people but that does not excuse our actions. Just like a person who’s poor isn’t given a shorter sentence in prison than a rich person who stole.
Your intentions are take into consideration but they obviously don’t invalidate the hurt you’ve caused. So pretty please those fucking mind games and ignorant stereotypes should come to an end.