If I’ve learned one thing about all of my so-called friendships and relationships , it’s that whenever toxicity is present there are two things stopping you from leaving – your fear of loneliness and your possible love for this person.
If you love someone so much and they love you too , why in the world does your heart hurt? Why are you laying on your bed and your hand covering your mouth to hold the sobs in? Why in the world do you still care?
Society always pressures us to worry about romantic relationships but what about platonic relationships – friendships?
Please explain to me why we spend our entire lives worrying about romantic relationships so much that we forget all types of other relationships we could’ve had , we get so caught up into the person we’re dating that we abandon our friends. In fact scientists say and believe that during a relationship , you lose at least 50% of your friends.
50% of your friends gone!
Half of your friends are neglected because of one person that probably isn’t even the person you’re gonna end up growing old with but for some reason you still find it okay to leave those people that care so much about you behind.
Here’s the thing , you risk so much for this one person. You risk everything for a stupid person who doesn’t even plan on staying in your life and subconsciously we all know it but as always we are blinded by how this person makes us feel that we forget about the friends family that were always there for us.
I will admit that in some cases letting go of someone whilst you’re in a relationship is for the best but many times friends will show their true colours when they are not your number one priority , but let’s be honest if that’s the case you probably already knew that the end to your friendship was near.
Recently I’ve watched people toss the word ‘love’ like it’s confetti. Not meaning it in the way they think they do and whenever the word ‘love’ occurs , it automatically becomes an excuse for people to do extremely dumb shit but get away with it because you’re in love with someone.
This word has been thrown around so much that I’ve honestly forgotten what it actually means and believe it or not the fact that you do this , the fact that you say it as if it were you first name makes people stop believing in love and pretend that it’s okay to do anything as long as they say it.
The word’s meaning isn’t about being in the cutest relationship in the world and receiving daily texts and gifts. It’s not about how much you compliment each other or how long your kisses last.
It’s about looking at someone’s eyes and understanding what all those books and songs are about. It’s about wanting to be the person they deserve because they make you wanna be a better person for them and yourself.
But it’s also about being there for each other and understanding that love isn’t just about all those fun times but it’s about the serious conversations , the days you tell each other things you were too afraid to say out loud and it’s about listening.
Sometimes those people don’t have to be the ones kissing you , they could be the ones that help you study and give you long hugs when you’ve had a bad night of sleep.
If you’re lucky enough you have them as your friends.
Those people are the ones that have seen so many sides of yours. They’ve seen you happy and upset. They’ve seen you broken down and ambitious. They’ve seen the sparkle in your eyes and the redness after a good cry.
How in the world could you give up a person that has been so good to you for god-knows-how long for some person that you barely know but think you love anyways? Especially for all those people reading this while still in school – do you really think that have fallen in love with someone that is most probably only there for you for one thing while your age still has the word ‘teen’ in it?
Don’t get me wrong, love is for sure a beautiful thing and everyone needs to experience but think for a second is it really love when all you’re doing is waiting for them to make the right move? Is it love when you cry more than you laugh? Is it love when they actually don’t give a crap if you lose your friends or family?
Here’s the golden rule “If they ain’t make you smile during the relationship , they ain’t gon make you cry after the breakup.”
We are so scared of being alone in this world that we can’t be bothered to think about what would actually happen if we took a chance and did what was best for us.
What’s best for you is to surround yourself with those who love you.
Surround yourself with people who will talk to you no matter what because they love you so much and cannot imagine their lives without you and maybe instead of getting mad at them for trying to screw up your friendship think about this ; they knew that you were gonna get mad at them anyways so why the hell would they try to come between you and the person that supposedly loves you?
Between you and I ; are you sure that the people in your life are the ones that will be there for you when you need someone at 3 pm and not at 3 am?