By: Yasmin Assem
Disclaimer: This is me telling a tale, it’s not 100% mine, it’s a reflection of things that have happened around me and been told to me, it’s a story and the moral behind it. Whatever part of it here that belongs to my personal story took place 2 years ago.
Friendships can end lives as well as start them
Everyone who knows me is fully aware en I’m always the bubbly cheerful one fi ay hetta, el bent el dayman betet7ak, the one who everyone thinks her life is perfect because she’s always there helping people when they need her, but when she actually needs someone to be there for her…
It all started bi en my so-called “best friend” started talking shit behind my back w el howa 3ady peace ya3ni bete7sal bas el mafrood en we’ve been best friends for many years w enena we’re like “two birds of a feather”, w we tell each other everything. So why did she do that? we weren’t even metkhan2een or shit. Kont kharga youm ma3 as7aby la2ethom they’re asking me law e7na metkhan2een , I was confused, w lamma sa2altohom, ektashaft enaha beteshtemni men wara dahry, w she started so many bad rumors about me – hagat I never even dreamed of doing w ray7a “betefda7ny”.
I didn’t want to believe this. A few weeks into it la2etha she’s snaping my crush and I was like na3am?? After asking around shwaya , ektashaft enaha sa7beto w enohom they started talking cause she told him kol haga I ever said about him. How was I friends with her? Why would she do this to me? What did I do? I went crazy 3ashan a3raf ana 3’elet fi eh. Makontesh 3ayza ashofha wala akalem 7ad 3anha; I didn’t know what else she did or told people about me. Batalt akhrog, I cried my self to sleep every night, and I started doing really bad in school cause I didn’t care anymore – makontesh 3arfa a3eesh makontesh adra.
Everyone hated me for things I never said or did. I was alone vulnerable to anyone. I wanted to day, I couldn’t take life anymore. The same week my parents had a big fight my dad left the house , I found out enohom heyetala2o besababy 3ashan el kalam el weselohom 3ahsan “ma3erfetsh teraby”. She ruined my life. w fi yom ba2a something good finally happened to me I found someone 3ayez yekalemny that didn’t judge me based on what he heard from my ” best friend”. I was happy for the first time in a very long time.
We started dating and everything was perfect. But that it came to an end faster than I thought it could. “She” got to him, to this I do not know what she told him, all I know is that I received haga menno that made me even more depressed. I got a text that basically said, “How could you do that to her? How can a person be that cruel, you deserve to die. Ah w kaman ana 3omry ma 7abbeitek yala take care ;)”.
I broke down in tears a3at a3ayat for weeks maybe even months. Heya ezzay keda? Ana 3amalt eh ? 3amalt eh yakhaleeha te3mel feya keda? Fel mar7ala di kont zehe2t men 7ayatie I was cutting and the cuts were getting deeper and worse kol yom. I decided I didn’t wanna live anymore galha el heya 3ayzah, she was in control of my life.
I give up I’m taking my own life she’s finally going to lose…
Moral of my not so happy story:
Take care of who you befriend mesh kol had yeb2a sa7bak/sa7bek no matter how much you want to, you can’t force something that’s not meant to be. But what you can do is get over it; know that it was for the best, know en el beytala3 el rumors dol they’re probably JEALOUS of YOU! Don’t give in to the haters kano meen homa yaani? Homma mesh a7san menek/menak fi ay haga, they’re just average people with nothing better to do with their time.
I bet you they let their insecurities out on you because they do not want to feel alone, and thus enjoy hurting you. Don’t ever and I mean ever cut 3ashan honestly these people are so shitty they don’t even deserve ennoko to look at them let alone be depressed and want to self harm besababhom. Enty/enta mete3rafsh/mate3rafeesh eh el mmken ye7sal f the future – el nas el het2abloohom, el adventures el you’re going to go on, the friends that you are going to make, who will make you forget ever feeling depressed w the stories you are going be able to tell your grandchildren one day.
Don’t take your life, don’t self harm, it’s always just a matter of time w el nas el fashakhook/fashakhooki dol heyetfeshkho aktar ma 3omrek/3omrak hetatakhaylo. They’re not gonna be let off the hook hun you just wait and see; that day will come and you’ll watch how profoundly karma will give them back what they did to you, I just want you to be there to see it. Matkhalleesh 7ad yesaytar 3ala hayatek/hayatak don’t give them that kind of joy!!