By: Aicha Korachy
We’re the generation of online dating, falling in love at 17 and all that cheesy Nicholas Sparks romance. Although it seems no one’s insured against heartbreak, at some point in our short lives we girls either fell for a ‘Man’, knew one or were/are friends with one (or many).
1. “The Man” is the guy that acts differently around you with his friends, the one who turns into the modern version of See El-Sayed and appoints you as his secretary or side whore. “El Ragel” is the guy that treats you right in front of his friends and away from them, because he isn’t afraid of the childish taunts that go along the lines of ‘whipped’.
2. “The Man” treats his girl friend or girlfriend as a dumpster for all the complaints and shitty news, dumping them on the female every night before going to bed. “El Ragel” would reciprocate, he would ask about you just like you do him, the effort he puts into the relationship is just as good as the girl’s.
3. When “The Man” hears about his friends’ girlfriends and their moving through the different bases, he starts either pressuring ‘his’ girl or lying to his friends about doing shit with her, all the while using daggers like “oh, you’re so close minded” or “why are you so uptight”, or my personal favorite, “don’t you trust me?” Oh honey she trusts you, that’s why she’s with you, but pressuring her to do things she’s uncomfortable with? That’s just sick. “El Ragel” would simply respect the girl’s limits and boundaries, and thus respecting her, which is one of the things a girl desires the most.
4. Another thing about “The Man”, you see his ego before his face. Know how you can out smart him in math? You hurt his ego. Know how you have other guy friends in your circle of friends? You hurt his ego. Know how you go out without telling him? You hurt his ego. And trust me egos go to wide lengths. “El Ragel” would be proud you can out smart him in math, he can probably run circles around you in chemistry. “El Ragel” wouldn’t mind you having guy friends because he trusts you and you agreed on certain boundaries together. “El Ragel” doesn’t need to give you his consent to spend time out with certain people; if you’re safe then that’s it. Egos turn a relationship sour. If you can’t handle that she’s better than you in some areas and likewise then you might as well date a lamppost.
5. “El Ragel” cares about your opinion. It isn’t a matter of being indecisive or dependent, but an appreciation of what you might have in mind or what you think of his knew shoes. Not because he’s ‘a sissy’ but because he’s considerate. It shows that you’re on his mind and that what you have to say isn’t some random babbling but actually a valid opinion. “The Man” couldn’t care less. Don’t like his new shirt? Fine. He won’t wear it when it’s just you two. He got in a fight with his friend and tells you about how bad it is, but hold it. Why are you even sharing your opinion? He doesn’t need your advice… he has friends for that. El Man strikes again.
6. “The Man” though has one talent no other has, the talent of making up excuses. It’s funny how he’s always online but doesn’t answer his phone. He’s always taking a shit when you’re calling. He’s always catching up on late work. He’s most definitely always in some kind of excusable situation, which is why he didn’t answer, or text you. He’s very busy and that’s why he never calls back or text back when he sees your texts/calls later. He never starts up conversations because he “knows you’re so busy he doesn’t want to be a distraction.” Because you’re always busy. Every single day. So he can’t check up on you for five seconds. I guess that’s why we can count on “El Ragel” to actually be there. Pick up. Check in. Make sure when he’s out you’re okay.
7. Some girls like the cold shoulder bad boy attitude – “The Man” – I get it, but honey that ain’t an excuse for him to badmouth you and treat you like trash. There’s always “El Ragel” and he can be like that too, without all the negatives.